When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
