Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
