dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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