What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
