At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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