Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
