I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
do nipples grow back?
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