I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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