I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
