I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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