dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
