My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
