I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have feelings that need drinking.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
