The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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