If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
