i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
