these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
