i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
