Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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