i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to calm my uterus...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
