He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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