I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
