Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
