bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize