I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
