I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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