Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
