Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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