i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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