Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
