ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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