I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We left the knife in your bed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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