WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
