He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize