Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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