i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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