hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize