is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
