is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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