She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
