Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
