They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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