All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize