You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I need water and some morals
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
