it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
