How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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