She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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