am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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