After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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