Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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