nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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