I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
