You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
