If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The beer is more important than you right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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