member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
