Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
