I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
