I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this boner is exhausting
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
