Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
