I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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