He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
