Tell her she can't have a vagina
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
