You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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