you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
