Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
