In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
