Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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