its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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