she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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