two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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